If I sinned, you would be watching me and would not let my offense go unpunished

Job 10:1-22
You must search out my faults and probe after my sin— though you know that I am not guilty and that no one can rescue me from your hand?
Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destroy me?  Remember that you molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again?
If I sinned, you would be watching me and would not let my offense go unpunished. If I am guilty—woe to me! Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head, for I am full of shame and drowned in my affliction.
Are not my few days almost over? Turn away from me so I can have a moment’s joy.
Why?
Job was pain and suffering much shame. So Job asked the Lord let him pass away.
Job though dead could release from this shame and suffering.
Only the Lord can judge anyone innocent or guilty, so Jon asked the Lord to do something to him and release him from life.
Even under such circumstances, Job still respects the authority of the Lord and hope the Lord watches him.
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v1-7:約伯追問神。你的眼豈是人的眼，應該不會錯看好人。神知道約伯沒有罪，為何神要追他的罪過?
v8-17:神創造他，使他成形，又賜生命慈愛、保全眷顧他。又為何有此計謀嗎？只為了攻擊他嗎？目前看神好像冷面的法官，為何前後判若兩人，神如此保護、創造我為了打擊我嗎？
公義與慈愛似乎 矛盾。 恩慈與公義相違，這是我們的看法。先有恩慈後有受罰，令人質疑。如果先若後甘，也許不會如此難過。
神的智慧、作為超過我們，所以我們不明白。不明白是正常的。但是神也透過聖經讓我們知道，更多的恩慈，不是前面半端的觀點，可是後者的安排，這些都超過我們能夠理解的。如耶穌基督的道路我們也不明白。
我們雖然明白但是我們也可以放心。
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How?
Our life is given by the Lord, so our life is in the hands of the Lord.